Oh wait. That's already been done -- about a THOUSAND TIMES.

On Tuesday morning, I picked up a copy of a CD. At the 7-11.

I'm fairly certain this was the first time I'd ever purchased a CD at a 7-11.

The CD was titled "Bear Fight Songs," and it was priced to move at just $9.99.

The lead cut is "We ARE Who Ya Thought We Were," by Steele. The music is somewhat reminiscent of Gary Glitter's "Rock and Roll Part II."

As for the lyrics, a sample:

Never stop til ya drop

Help.

The title of the song is a play on former Arizona Cardinals' coach Dennis Green's infamous meltdown after the Bears had pulled off one of the greatest comebacks (and/or the Cardinals had experienced an almost unprecedented collapse) ever seen on "Monday Night Football." It was one of the best blowups since Lee Elia, and it went something like this:

"The Bears are what we thought they were. They're what we thought they were! We played them in preseason. ... The Bears are who we thought they were! That's why we took the damn field! Now if you want to crown 'em, then crown their ass. ... But they are who we thought they were, and we let 'em off the hook!"

And off he went as a reporter cracked, "Thanks coach."

It was an instant YouTube classic -- but as insults go, it's not even "Winning Ugly." It's not as if Bears fans are walking around saying, "We are who you thought we were." Does that even make sense? Why not just title your song, "I Know You Are But What Am I?"

I've yet to hear a new Bears song that's going to outlast the week. Have you?

No offense to all the talented artists who are trying to come up with the next "Super Bowl Shuffle," but the Bears already have a fight song. It's called "Bear Down, Chicago Bears," and it still works.

Not that "The Super Bowl Shuffle" is really any better than "We ARE Who Ya Thought We Were," or "Go Bears Go (Don't Stop)," or "Woof, Woof, Bop, Bop," or "The Mighty Mighty Bears," or "We Da Bears," or any of the other tributes to the 2006 Bears. Come on, "Shuffle" is pretty awful, but that dopey melody was infectious (like a virus) and the video was pure camp entertainment 20 years ago, and it's even funnier today.

I don't think we'll even remember any of these new Bears tunes in 2026.

It's been that way in the sports world for years. When I walked near the Sox dugout minutes before the start of Game One of the 2005 World Series, I saw at least one player and one staffer shooting home video.

I don't know if I've ever used this word to describe a pro athlete, but there's something almost cute about that. That you'd want to shoot home video even as you're inside an event that will be recorded from a hundred different angles by the best and most sophisticated video recording systems in the world, just so you'll have a personal permanent record -- kind of endearing. Guess there's still room for moments that aren't jaded.

Uh-oh. I can't get "We ARE Who Ya Thought We Were" out of my head. I'm not kidding.

Help.

Join Richard in a fund-raiser to fight pediatric cancer at Crobar on Feb. 10. For tickets call (312) 322-0001 or go to www.friendsforsteven.org.


Roeper did not point out the fact that the original, real, official, orange and blue version of Bear Down Chicago Bears by Bill Archer and the Big Bears Band IS in fact, on our CD also! I called John Steele and read him Roeper's article (poor John didn't have time to read the paper this morning because he has been boxing and shipping our new shipment of CD's to our newest partner White Hen, all morning, moo ha ha) and we both laughed our asses off.

By the way Mr. Roeper, if you think you hate this project of ours, wait until you see what Bill, John and I have planned for next season. You may just jump out your window! If that happens, we will send flowers.