I am very pissed off. I read in Sunday's Chicago Tribune that it was Osama bin Laden's birthday. He turned 50 years old, (if he's still alive.) What upset me is the fact that the Trib also published birthday "well wishes" from some of his sick-followers! I was shocked and appalled anything "positive" about this prick was published in an American newspaper. What is this country coming to? Do we really need to see that crap? Do we really have to be politically correct about everything? Who's feeling do we hurt if we just ignore the fact that the "self-proclaimed organizer" of the September 11th attacks turned 50? Can you imagine any American newspaper publishing birthday wishes to Hitler or Tojo during WWII? SHAME ON YOU CHICAGO TRIBUNE.

Now, imagine I am writing for the Tribune. This is my birthday message to Osama bin Laden.

"Happy birthday asshole. I hope you are enjoying your 50th, you look like you're about 80 you coward. How's your health? I hear in the news you are dying, ... I hope that day comes soon. Your cowardly attack on our great nation has cause thousands of deaths on both sides. You say you are willing to die for your twisted cause, yet you still hide in a cave. I hope you enjoyed your "rock" birthday cake covered in a "sand" topping. The news of your death will be welcomed by millions of people world wide. Come out and fight like a man and stop sending your brain-washed followers to do your bidding. They are dying by the hundreds. Please step out of your cave and take your turn"

The following are from America's top late night stars. I found this on the news source I subscribe to ... this is more like it! Enjoy.

"The latest report is that Osama bin Laden has shaved his beard, is wearing Western clothes and has had plastic surgery. Isn't that amazing? The guy has made just two videos and he's already gone Hollywood." --Jay Leno

"The Defense Department ... says that troops in Afghanistan have discovered several more tapes of Osama bin Laden speaking with his followers. ... And if you order the whole set right now, they'll throw in 'The Taliban's Wet 'n' Wild Spring Break'" --Conan O'Brien

"Over in Afghanistan, Osama stuck his head out of the cave and saw a shadow. So, that means six more weeks of bombing." --David Letterman

"Yesterday, the government released that tape of Osama bin Laden and if you watched it, you know Osama bin Laden is not only evil, but really, really boring. And could he be more guilty? Even O.J.'s going 'Come on, you know he did it.'" --Jay Leno

"According to the New York Daily News, Geraldo said he is now carrying a gun, and he will personally shoot Osama bin Laden if he finds him. If Osama also has a gun, this could work out okay." --Jay Leno