The other day as I was deleting some forwarded emails and I started to think to myself, what in the "wide world of sports" is everyone thinking?

First, let me clarify; I don't delete all forwarded-emails. Jon Brant sends me some hilarious jokes. Vinny Forras also send some pretty in-depth emails about health problems that still plague New York Ground Zero workers and are claiming lives every week. The forwarded emails I'm am talking about are the ones that ask you to pass it on to everyone you know or something terrible will happen.  Ahhhhhhhhhh! (very scary, huh kids?)

The forwarded-emails that I particularly loath are the ones that try to frighten readers by saying; "If you don't pass this on to 10 people, you will have bad luck!" (Hell, if it wasn't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all!) Come On! Do adults really believe that crap?

The emails about the troops that say things like; "Don't break the chain," or "You'll save someone's life if you pass this on to 10 people!" Sometimes it makes me feel a bit guilty, (which is exactly the point of these emails,)  but I still don't forward them. I will download emails about firefighters or the troops, but I won't be threatened and "forward" my beliefs to my friends.

The emails that just make me laugh out loud, are the ones that say "If you pass this on to 10-people you will be visited by a Money Angel!" A Money Angel???? Are you kidding me? Why not a Leprechaun ... I thought they had all the gold? Or, how about a Christmas Elf? Does someone really think God is into money? Do people really believe God has fleet of angels who pass cash out to people who mass-email? Jesus said, "The meek shall inherit the earth," not, " The more money you have when you die, the better place you'll have in Paradise."

The "testimonial"- forwarded-emails are also very clever; ... People will write; "I swear, ... this works, ... I did it, I sent this to 20-people and the very-second the last email was sent, I got a call from a lawyer saying I inherited $10,000.00 from an Uncle in Pango-Pango!"

My daughter Danielle told me of similar "teen-forwarded-emails." One particular email said "If you don't send this email to 10 people, a woman without a face, one arm and one leg will appear standing over your bed at midnight holding a huge knife." (I'll bet she accidentally cut off her own arm, leg and face with that damn knife!)

I remember getting an email when I first got a computer in the mid-90's. The email had a photo of a girl who was about 14-years old on the front page. The sender wanted know if anyone had seen the little girl. If you had seen her, you were to call your local police department or the FBI office. I swear, I was looking for that kid everywhere, when ever I would remember. The other day I got an email from a friend asking me to help, ... it was the same freaking email with the same freaking photo of that kid, ... who has to be married and in her late-20's by now. I went to a website that dispels "Urban Legends" and there she was again, ... the same email.  It was a ploy.

What I learned on that website, (and I have known this for a while, and that is why I delete wacky forwarded-emails,) is that companies attach a computer device called a "cookie" to those, heart wrenching, "please send this to everyone or you'll die" emails, to see exactly where you surf on the Internet. Those companies track you, and eventually they track everyone who gets an email from you, to see what websites everyone visits. They also track your Internet purchases. When the "cookie" collects enough data, that information is sold and depending upon where you surf or what you buy, you will start to get emails from companies who are in the same fields as the places you visit on the Internet.

So that's my semi-rant for the week. There are no Money Angels, nobody is going to die if you don't pass on an email, ... Bill Gates isn't gonna give you money if you email 20 people. ... You can't save lives overseas by sending a friend an email (unless that friend is in a tank with a lap-top, and the person who needs help is being fired upon a few yards away from the tank!) Jesus still loves you no matter what, ... The little girl isn't missing, ... St. Theresa will still pray for you, ... You won't go to Hell if you don't email everyone you know, ... and nobody really cares if you delete those annoying forwarded-emails, ... not even the people that sent you them in the first place.

Aaaaaaamen 

Now hurry, ...  send this blog to at least 30 people and the Snow-Fairy will stop Global Warming!

 

What did you think of this article?

Liked
Disliked
No Opinion